Health at Every Size

Feeling thankful

/ Bethany / 1 Comment

Wanted to share this post written by a friend. She talks about habits I am working on, such as gratitude, balance, dietary changes over the long term. She has a few years on me in terms of her habits journey, so that shows persistence and sustainability too.

The CSA Way's avatarOur Life With a CSA

Each week before my Farmer Dave’s CSA pick-up day an email gets sent out to member with a list of what we may expect in our share that week ( which can change) and Farm Notes.  These are usually about what is happening on the farm, what is being harvested etc.  The notes are always interesting and I enjoy reading them.

The Farm Notes this week really struck a chord with me.  They were written by one of the farm team members talking about the emails they receive from families.  How the CSA has changed the way their family especially the children eat.  The vegetables and fruit taste so good that it isn’t a battle to get them to eat.  The kids look forward to it, they talk about it. That is success.

Working in health care I see the effects of poor nutrition every day in children and adults…

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Why We Need Fat Role Models

/ Bethany / 4 Comments

When Tess Holliday was featured in May 2015 in People magazine, I saw some commentary discussing whether Tess was a “good role model.” I felt very uneasy when I saw this.

Not even getting into the arguments that we can look up to people for their talents or accomplishments without wanting to look like them.  Not even getting into the fact that people seem to always be quick to point out that happy fat people could be construed as “promoting obesity.” Not even getting into the fact that if a thin or average sized person becomes famous for their accomplishments or talents, nobody questions their body and whether it compromises their worthiness as a role model.

Not even taking any of these things into account, I’m going to go so far as to say that we NEED fat role models. Yes, I said it. Not just “it’s okay that they exist.” I’m saying that I’m glad that they exist, because we need them.

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Kids Loving Their CSA Shares

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I work at a local CSA farm, and occasionally get to write some newsletter content for the members. Here is a piece I wrote for this week’s newsletter.

We received a heartwarming email from CSA member Rachel M. last week, on behalf of her two year old son, Paul. Rachel wanted to make sure we knew how much Paul loved his farm vegetables. Their family joined the CSA when Paul was just three weeks old, so he doesn’t remember NOT being a CSA member.

“Yesterday, when we were eating some roasted beets, he kept asking for ‘more beets Farmer Dave grow.'” Today, knowing we would be going to the farm to pick up more veggies, he asked me ‘Farmer Dave on red tractor? Picking more kale?'”…..All your veggies make me feel like a better parent — I love it that because of our CSA share, Paul says things like “me like kohlrabi! me have kale smoomie? (smoothie)”. So, from me and my son Paul, thank you for all the hard work you put into growing veggies for us!”

As farmers, this is a major reason why we do what we do and find our work so satisfying. We commonly hear about small children who have no idea that vegetables are anything but delicious. Toddlers look forward to the CSA box with just as much anticipation as adults.

“I want to open my Farmer Dave’s box! I’m so happy to open my Farmer Dave’s box. What’s inside?” – the son of a Farmer Dave’s team member

They help themselves to fresh fruits and veggies from the fridge, instead of (or in addition to) cookies from the cookie jar.

“I find half eaten cucumbers and peppers in random rooms in my house.” – A Dracut CSA member

Many parents feel a lot of pressure around feeding their children healthy foods. We love knowing that the work we do takes some of the pressure off, allowing the youngest eaters among us the joy of eating simple, fresh, delicious food because they love it, not because they have to. Their earliest memories of fresh, local produce are easy, pleasurable, and fun ones. We are proud and humbled to be a part of these important years in forming their lifelong attitudes towards food.

And for many of the adults among us, this is the time of year when life gets hectic, schedules become busier, and the school year begins. If you find yourself more overwhelmed with the produce this time of year, try taking a cue from some of these kiddos. Pull a tomato, pepper, cucumber out of the fridge and just much on it – no preparation required, or with a simple dip if you prefer. A few veggie snacks per day will make a serious dent in your weekly share! (And if you are looking to can or freeze some of it for winter use, we have some resources on our website.)

Here’s to simplicity and joy and wide-eyed wonderment!

Bethany
(filling in for Farmer Dave in this week’s newsletter, and mother of a three year old)

Balancing Priorities (Weightlifting, parenting, and enjoying the process)

/ Bethany / 4 Comments

Earlier this week I visited a new gym where I am considering training this winter when it gets too cold for the porch gym.  Even though it’s a bit of a drive from my home, I was tempted to try it out, because of the weightlifting expertise of the coaches. After trying it out though, I decided to hold off on joining,  for a couple reasons: parenting, and enjoyment of training. Both of these are high priorities for me, so it is important for me to balance these priorities with my weightlifting training.

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Victory Nomenclature (a first world problem)

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I participate and lurk in a few facebook groups where the focus is on moderation, balance, and healthy habits. I get a lot out of these groups, or I wouldn’t participate.

There is a tradition in these groups that I love in and of itself, but I don’t love the name of the tradition. (I realize that writing about something I dislike officially makes me a blogger with too much time on my hands and no really serious problems to worry about, and for that, I am grateful!).

The tradition I am referring to is the “Non Scale Victory” (NSV) post.

If we are acknowledging that there are many victories that are more important than the number on the scale, why do we even use the word “scale” in front of a victory that has nothing to do with a scale? Why do we need to use a qualifier such as “non-scale?” I can see two possible reasons:

  1. To encourage women to think outside the (scale) box when thinking about their victories (and I’m all in favor of this!!)
  2. Because, deep down, some of us may still feel like the scale is king, and other victories aren’t AS good, and so need to be held to a different standard.

How can we label our victories more descriptively based on what they are, instead of what they are not? Why not call it a “Mindset Victory” or “Healthy Habit Victory” or “Moderation Victory” or “Chilling the F*ck Out Victory” or “Body Image Victory” or “Kitchen Victory” or “PR Victory” or “Gym Victory” or “Showing Up Victory” or “Standing Up for Myself Victory” or  just plain “Victory?”

Obviously this is not a huge issue in terms of all the more significant problems of the world. Just some food for thought!

Mastering Walking Before Trying to Run

/ Bethany / 3 Comments

Lately I’ve been feeling as though I am losing some of my cardio conditioning. And I probably am! I’ve dropped metcon workouts, and my health has steadily improved since. But I’ve also been pretty sedentary, other than weightlifting workouts, if I’m being honest. Something about all the heavy squats makes laying around very appealing. And it’s been hot. I’m not a summer person. My favorite season is fall. I like milder weather.

So, when I noticed getting more winded when walking up steep hills, it was tempting to mentally examine where in my schedule I could fit some metcons in. And then I realized I was jumping from two to one hundred in one fell swoop.

Why not try an in-between step? A month or so ago I added a healthy habit goal to my list that involved going for walks. If I was having trouble motivating myself to go for walks, which I actually enjoy, what made me think adding metcons would be any more successful? So, I’m choosing to focus more on the walking habit. As they say….”you have to learn to walk before you can learn to run.” Or something like that.

Anyway, I took a trail walk with my kiddo the other day, and walked him to the babysitter’s house yesterday instead of driving. Both times I really enjoyed the walk and the bonding experience. I was tired yesterday, but I felt better after the walk than I did before. That should tell me something.

How else can one apply this principle? I hear friends talk about overhauling their diets all. the. time. And then getting down on themselves when they can’t maintain the restrictions for more than a few hours/days/weeks/months. Why not change one meal at a time? Set a goal to eat (protein for, veggies for, fruit for, or just plain eat) breakfast? Or to eat enough at lunchtime so you aren’t starving at night? One goal at a time. Walk before you run.

Have you used this principle to make any habit changes in your life? I’d love to hear about some other examples!

Body Image Progress

/ Bethany / 8 Comments

I wanted to share some body positive successes I have had in the last week. I don’t always have “good body image days” (said in the same spirit as “good hair days”). My body positive attitude development has been an exercise in patience, just like my strength development.  But I had two experiences last week that showed me that I am making progress in this area, even if every day is not great.

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Learning Curve: Packing Lunch

/ Bethany / 7 Comments

This is a scary post for me to publish.

Why?

This quote from Go Kaleo’s post sums it up.:

There’s another, even more dysfunctional factor at work…..women in our culture have been conditioned to associate eating with feelings of shame and guilt. I’ve run into this on my facebook page and here, I’ve had several people make up ridiculous rumors about how much I eat and speculate that I must be taking steroids in order to eat as much as I do and not get fat. This is a response I get for eating a healthy amount of food to support my activity and my weight, and for acknowledging in public that I eat that much. Women are supposed to be dainty and delicate and eat like birds, and in popular media women enjoying eating and eating more than a few bites of food are frequently portrayed as undesirable, and presented as comedy. So many of us have internalized these perceptions, and the result is a tremendous psychological pressure to not eat (or at least to not be seen eating), and highly dysfunctional eating behaviors.

So, I feel nervous about going into my energy requirements in detail, when it isn’t in the context of wanting to count calories in order to lose weight. Especially as a fat person – I feel nervous that I will be judged harshly for not attempting weight loss. I fear that calorie talk in general will call attention to that. I have some anxiety that as a fat person, I shouldn’t call attention to the fact that I eat at all.  So, I definitely have some internalized shame and guilt going on about this.

Just putting all that out there, before I go into the actual topic of this post. Why am I publishing it anyway? Because I strongly feel that this culture of guilt and shame around women eating is harmful, and the only way it is going to change is if women are going to make eating more visible/normal.

Now that it is out of the way, here it goes….

I am proud of myself for taking steps to better fuel my body this week.  A big step? Learning how to pack meals and snacks for days at work / on the go.

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Recovery!

/ Bethany / 4 Comments

This post is about how I recovered much of my energy levels. It’s a bit all over the place. I’ll touch on a lot of things, from parenting to postpartum adjustment to adrenal recovery to diet recovery to what’s normal and what’s not. Content warning: I discuss my reproductive functions in this post. If that sort of thing grosses you out, stop reading now.  Want to skip the story and just read my conclusions? Here they are:

 

  • If you are a mom of young children, and you feel like shit, yes, lifestyle changes can help a lot. But going to your doctor to diagnose and treat undetected medical issues can help a lot too! I put off going to the doctor a long time, and I’m glad I finally went.
  • If you are fat and you have low energy, don’t blame your energy levels on your weight. By addressing many areas of my lifestyle, my energy levels and health have increased tremendously in the last 8 months, even though my weight has not changed. That’s a night and day difference, from being low functioning to much higher functioning in terms of energy and productivity, with no recent changes in my weight.
  • Even though our culture likes to tell women (especially fat women) that we need to eat less and control our diets, I actually feel much healthier and much more highly functional when I ignore that shit.
  • Does adrenal fatigue actually exist? I don’t know. I’m not qualified to say. My science education is sorely lacking. My doctor says yes. Many doctors say no.  The blogger on the internet I listened to says “I don’t know” and “I’m skeptical.” I’m just reporting what I did in my own life, and the effects it has had. If you are having problems with low energy levels, my advice (not that I’m qualified to give any!) is to address your lifestyle AND go see your doctor. I don’t think I would have recovered as quickly without doing BOTH.

Keep reading to find out how I reached those conclusions.

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Striving (or not) for Pull ups (so I don’t die in a Disney movie)

/ Bethany / 1 Comment

As I wrote about in Why I Let My Weight Go and Why I Stopped Aspiring to an Athletic Physique, I spent most of my adult life exercising to change how I looked. Sometimes it changed how I felt, but I viewed that as a side benefit, and still would feel inwardly frustrated and obsessed when it didn’t change the way I looked fast enough. I would get discouraged and I almost never continued an exercise program for more than a year continuously.

Now, I am doing something different. I took up weightlifting because I find it satisfying and I love the way it makes my body feel. I realized that I really don’t want to run – running does not feel good at all at my current size. That’s okay! Which leads me to…..pull ups.

Being able to do a pull up has been my personal holy grail of fitness for a long time. I couldn’t do them in those elementary school fitness tests. I always fell for the siren song of the gravitron at the gym. The assisted pull up. I could work my way up to an unassisted pull up, I told myself. I never got too far and I didn’t actually enjoy the feeling of the gravitron. The handles were too thick and difficult to grip. Etc.

When I was in my 20s, I was following nutrition and fitness coach who asserted that any truly healthy person should be able to run a mile and do a pull up (among other things). At the time I could run a mile but I could not do a pull up. The assertion that I should be able to do one stuck with me, however. I mean, look at all the action scenes in the Disney movies, for chrissakes. So many characters would be dead if not for their grip strength and their ability to do a pull up. Aladdin. Beast. Simba. Quasimodo. Prince Hans of the Southern Isles. All dead if not for their pull up abilities, right?

When I started doing CrossFit in 2011, the coaches showed me how to do ring rows. Ring rows are used as a scale-able alternative to pull ups in CrossFit. You can make them more and more difficult and use them to build strength if you cannot yet do a regular pull up or assisted pull up. I was excited.  I was finally going to be able to pull myself back up onto a bridge should someone chuck me off, Disney villain style.

When I was four months pregnant, I found myself way too exhausted to keep going to the evening CrossFit classes. I bought a set of gymnastics rings so I could continue the ring rows on my own. I think I ended up using them twice during my pregnancy.

A few years later, I dug them out again when I started doing CrossFit on my own earlier in the year. I did lots of ring rows between January and May. I was no longer focused on my weight, but I still had the goal of wanting to be able to do a pull up in my mind.

And then I started training for Olympic weightlifting instead. My body felt 100 times better when I stopped doing CrossFit style metcon WODs. I switched to a Catalyst Athletics weightlifting program…..and still incorporated some pull up training (ring row training, in my case).

But the weightlifting training is both time intensive and tiring, and I realized that if I was going to focus on that, I might have to cut out other training (pull up training), because I needed to have energy for the rest of my life, too. My kid, my marriage, my job, basic functioning. I felt nervous about cutting out pull up training…..until I realized I was doing it on autopilot. Do I even WANT to be able to do pull ups? I don’t know! If so, WHY do I want to be able to do pull ups? I don’t know! It’s just what I have aspired to for the past 15 years….but I am a very different person than I was 15 years ago. I don’t need to have the same goals. It’s okay to move on. I may never be able to pull myself up after hanging on the edge of an icy staircase, Prince Hans style. And I’m willing to admit that maybe, just maybe, that could be an unrealistic goal for me in the present moment.

So, I decided to take a break from pull up training, at least until I figure out the answer to the question “do I actually WANT to do this?” My body is working hard at other things, and I know that if it turns out I actually do have my own inner motivation to one day do pull ups, I’ll be able to accomplish it that much more easily, because I will be more dedicated to the goal.

Or….maybe I can make a habit based goal, not an outcome based goal. 3000 ring rows in 2016….and just see what happens.  That’s an option too!