For Crying Out Loud: How I Woke Up From Natural Parenting Dogma About Crying

When I started this blog, I didn’t envision parenting being a primary topic. The description at the top of the page says “habit cultivation, body positivity, olympic style weightlifting, seasonal vegetable cooking, and an occasional side of parenting.” If the last couple months have been indicative, I should probably switch the last two topics. The description should read “an occasional side of vegetable cooking.”

Yesterday I read a post by Everyday Battles, and it struck a chord with me. I could relate to a lot of what she wrote.

I spent my entire pregnancy surrounding myself with empowering messages, images, resources, etc. I believed I was fit, strong, healthy, level headed, supported, etc. I was the “perfect candidate” for pregnancy, labor, delivery, mindset and motherhood. It was natural! Why should I be concerned? I’ll bounce back because of how healthy and educated I am about this process. This woman did it! That woman looks amazing! My head was filled with powerful affirmations and expectations. I was confident to a fault.

Well, fuck me. That mentality failed me big time…

I, too, spent my entire pregnancy surrounding myself with empowering messages, images, resources, etc. I, too, believed I was fit, strong, healthy, level headed, supported, etc. I, too, was the “perfect candidate” for pregnancy, labor, delivery, mindset and motherhood. My head, too, was filled with powerful affirmations and expectations. I, too, was confident to a fault. And like Brianna writes, that mentality failed me too, big time.

When faced with a very long, drawn out, prodromal labor, I was not unprepared for my mounting levels of fear and exhaustion. My birth was very different from the way I had envisioned it. The first few weeks of my son’s life were the darkest weeks of mine. I have never in my life doubted myself as much as I did then.

But birth expectations were not the only way in which I feel the natural parenting community fails parents and kids.

During my pregnancy, I was also immersing myself in beliefs that were not helpful to me at all about crying babies.

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An Old Post: Our Birth and Lactation Story

I wrote this post before I had my own blog. It originally appeared on The Badass Breastfeeder. Though it’s only marginally related to what I write about on this blog, it’s my story, and I wanted to get it onto my own site now that I’ve got one.

My kiddo is now three years old. He still breastfeeds at bedtime (and most days that is all). He is a happy kid and my husband and I have no regrets at all.

 

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