Mindset

Turning Back the Clock: Bringing Back an Old Habit

/ Bethany / 11 Comments

I am in my 30s, as are many of my friends. It seems like a common experience that some of us feel nostalgic for our younger bodies. We would appreciate them so much more, we think (never mind that we hated our bodies back in high school too….). We wish for the energy we had when we were younger and could stay out late all the time.

Of course, getting a past version of ourselves back is impossible. Even putting aging aside, so many of our environmental conditions and habits have changed.  The hormonal climates of our bodies are different. We have different habits, different pressures, different responsibilities, different perspectives, and different values.

Continue reading →

Refining Goals, Saving Money

/ Bethany / 2 Comments

This weekend I decided to skip barbell club and go on a trail walk instead with my local chapter of Hike it Baby.  Now that the weather is cooling off, I’m enjoying being outside again, and finally gathering some steam for my walking habit. I love going to barbell club, but I know my hiking options will be more limited all winter.  Kiddo and I enjoyed the walk! And thanks to the porch gym equipment, I was still able to get my weightlifting in later. I’m very grateful to have that flexibility. Between the hike and weightlifting, kiddo and I spent a lot of hours outside on Saturday and we both loved it! One hazard of training with a kiddo: he dropped a .5kg change plate between two of the porch floor boards. Barbell math just got a lot harder! Oh well.

Earlier this week I wrote about stumbles while developing habits. I’ve been thinking about another habit that was on my list. Or rather, it wasn’t a habit, it was a goal. The goal was to save $12,000 this year, thereby finishing our family’s emergency fund (we started the year with around $2200 in this fund). This is baby step 3 in the Dave Ramsey baby steps.

Well, we were making some progress towards this goal…..and then we needed to replace our car. That setback really took the wind out of my sails on this one, and the fund has been stagnating ever since, nowhere near the goal for the end of the year.

So, I’m tweaking this goal. As I talked about in the stumbles post, there have been other goals (walking, bedtime) that needed to be changed a bit in order for me to really take off and develop the habits. I’ve decided to make it a habit-based goal like all the others, instead of an outcome-based goal. Instead of saying “get to $12,000 in the account by the end of the year,” I’m now saying “deposit $10 or more in the emergency fund, at least 15 times by the end of the year.” This will help with developing the habit of saving. It doesn’t seem like much, but it is more than I am currently saving, and once I develop that habit, I can look into saving more aggressively.

Shana Tova, all!

 

Habit Cultivation: Adults Have Developmental Stumbles, Too!

/ Bethany / 12 Comments

Today I want to offer a new perspective I am learning in my habit cultivation practice.

Whenever we learn a new skill, we expect to stop and start. We see this all around us. Babies take a few steps, then fall down. Kids ride their bikes a short distance; they don’t ride all the way around the block on the first try. When I learned to play the clarinet, I first learned Mary Had a Little Lamb, not the Stravinsky 3 pieces.

This is all normal and expected. We don’t beat ourselves up every step of the way. We celebrate every step.

With children, we also expect that each child will develop different skills at different times. Most children start to walk around the time they turn one year old. But there are some who walk at 10 months old, and fall down every few steps while they are learning. Other children crawl until they are 14 or 15 months old, and then start walking and almost never fall down.  The same is true for every milestone. Some kids meet a certain milestone early. Some late. Some kids meet one milestone very early and another milestone very late. Some kids meet most of their milestones right around the average expected time, without fail. This is all considered normal and we expect these variations. We also expect that most children will stumble many times while learning new skills.

When adults try and form new habits, it’s often the opposite. Instead of starting small and expecting to stumble a little, we start with big goals, then declare our attempts a failure and give up when we stumble. Then we beat ourselves up (either internally or to our friends). In the case of health-related habits, we talk about the fact that we started and stopped multiple times as though each attempt is isolated and separate.

What if it wasn’t? What if each attempt wasn’t an isolated and separate, but a normal part of the process of learning something new?

Continue reading →

Role Models Part 3: Self-talk and Self-Listening

/ Bethany / 2 Comments

This is the third post in a series about role models. (You can read the first post and the second post too).

One of the reasons I chose habit-based goals instead of outcome based goals is that I wanted to keep myself open to whatever outcomes may come as a result of adopting healthier habits. I did not want to attempt to force certain outcomes on myself, which I ultimately could not control anyway.

One of the really nice outcomes I’ve been experiencing as a result of walking away from weight loss pressure is getting a lot more practice speaking to myself kindly – the way I strive to speak to (and listen to!) my own kiddo. I want to care for my kiddo as best I can, and that includes a sense of a emotional safety. Why would I want to do anything different for myself?

Continue reading →

Role Models, Part 2: Some Real Life Role Models!

/ Bethany / 2 Comments

Earlier this week I published a post about why I am grateful for fat role models.  I have a lot more to say about role models in general, so there may be several more posts on the subject!

In the earlier post, I wrote about how important it is for me to have role models that look like me.   Courtney, of Black Feminist Fitness, has a profound way of looking at this. As black woman, she finds that role models who look like her are often few and far between in the fitness world. Any time she wants to try a new sport, she seeks out a black female role model to inspire her. For example, when she wanted to try CrossFit, she looked towards Elizabeth Akinwale‘s example. For powerlifting, Taylar Stallings provided inspiration. For dancing, Jeni Le Gon.  She also follows community pages like Black Girls Swim and Black Girls RUN! 

When I first heard about Courtney’s approach, it didn’t really stick in my head. As a white person, I am privileged to have never had to consider this before – in any of area of interest, I am fairly certain I can find a white female role model who has gone before me.  Recently though, I have found myself profoundly affected and inspired by the journeys of several fat women involved in fitness, and I realized how important role models can really be.

Continue reading →

Active Listening and Active Rest

/ Bethany / 5 Comments

This has been an active rest/recovery week for me. Last week I was pretty tired a lot, and on Saturday I went to barbell club and was missing pretty much every lift. The training program I was using was on a competition mesocycle with lots of heavy singles. That wasn’t really what I needed at all – I still have so much technique development to do.

My coach looked at my program last weekend and agreed that it was way too much volume. He put together a new one for me to follow. I went to start it on Tuesday and my body basically laughed at me.  I knew then that I needed a few days off to recover. Even though I haven’t done any squats this week, my legs still felt like I had. I’ve been feeling a little run down in general too. Kiddo and I both have a slight cough – I think we might be having some allergy symptoms. Appetite-wise, nothing sounds good. I’m  having zero desire to cook anything. My CSA veggies are looking sad in the fridge.

Continue reading →

Feeling thankful

/ Bethany / 1 Comment

Wanted to share this post written by a friend. She talks about habits I am working on, such as gratitude, balance, dietary changes over the long term. She has a few years on me in terms of her habits journey, so that shows persistence and sustainability too.

The CSA Way's avatarOur Life With a CSA

Each week before my Farmer Dave’s CSA pick-up day an email gets sent out to member with a list of what we may expect in our share that week ( which can change) and Farm Notes.  These are usually about what is happening on the farm, what is being harvested etc.  The notes are always interesting and I enjoy reading them.

The Farm Notes this week really struck a chord with me.  They were written by one of the farm team members talking about the emails they receive from families.  How the CSA has changed the way their family especially the children eat.  The vegetables and fruit taste so good that it isn’t a battle to get them to eat.  The kids look forward to it, they talk about it. That is success.

Working in health care I see the effects of poor nutrition every day in children and adults…

View original post 485 more words

Why We Need Fat Role Models

/ Bethany / 4 Comments

When Tess Holliday was featured in May 2015 in People magazine, I saw some commentary discussing whether Tess was a “good role model.” I felt very uneasy when I saw this.

Not even getting into the arguments that we can look up to people for their talents or accomplishments without wanting to look like them.  Not even getting into the fact that people seem to always be quick to point out that happy fat people could be construed as “promoting obesity.” Not even getting into the fact that if a thin or average sized person becomes famous for their accomplishments or talents, nobody questions their body and whether it compromises their worthiness as a role model.

Not even taking any of these things into account, I’m going to go so far as to say that we NEED fat role models. Yes, I said it. Not just “it’s okay that they exist.” I’m saying that I’m glad that they exist, because we need them.

Continue reading →

Kids Loving Their CSA Shares

/ Bethany / Leave a comment

I work at a local CSA farm, and occasionally get to write some newsletter content for the members. Here is a piece I wrote for this week’s newsletter.

We received a heartwarming email from CSA member Rachel M. last week, on behalf of her two year old son, Paul. Rachel wanted to make sure we knew how much Paul loved his farm vegetables. Their family joined the CSA when Paul was just three weeks old, so he doesn’t remember NOT being a CSA member.

“Yesterday, when we were eating some roasted beets, he kept asking for ‘more beets Farmer Dave grow.'” Today, knowing we would be going to the farm to pick up more veggies, he asked me ‘Farmer Dave on red tractor? Picking more kale?'”…..All your veggies make me feel like a better parent — I love it that because of our CSA share, Paul says things like “me like kohlrabi! me have kale smoomie? (smoothie)”. So, from me and my son Paul, thank you for all the hard work you put into growing veggies for us!”

As farmers, this is a major reason why we do what we do and find our work so satisfying. We commonly hear about small children who have no idea that vegetables are anything but delicious. Toddlers look forward to the CSA box with just as much anticipation as adults.

“I want to open my Farmer Dave’s box! I’m so happy to open my Farmer Dave’s box. What’s inside?” – the son of a Farmer Dave’s team member

They help themselves to fresh fruits and veggies from the fridge, instead of (or in addition to) cookies from the cookie jar.

“I find half eaten cucumbers and peppers in random rooms in my house.” – A Dracut CSA member

Many parents feel a lot of pressure around feeding their children healthy foods. We love knowing that the work we do takes some of the pressure off, allowing the youngest eaters among us the joy of eating simple, fresh, delicious food because they love it, not because they have to. Their earliest memories of fresh, local produce are easy, pleasurable, and fun ones. We are proud and humbled to be a part of these important years in forming their lifelong attitudes towards food.

And for many of the adults among us, this is the time of year when life gets hectic, schedules become busier, and the school year begins. If you find yourself more overwhelmed with the produce this time of year, try taking a cue from some of these kiddos. Pull a tomato, pepper, cucumber out of the fridge and just much on it – no preparation required, or with a simple dip if you prefer. A few veggie snacks per day will make a serious dent in your weekly share! (And if you are looking to can or freeze some of it for winter use, we have some resources on our website.)

Here’s to simplicity and joy and wide-eyed wonderment!

Bethany
(filling in for Farmer Dave in this week’s newsletter, and mother of a three year old)

Balancing Priorities (Weightlifting, parenting, and enjoying the process)

/ Bethany / 4 Comments

Earlier this week I visited a new gym where I am considering training this winter when it gets too cold for the porch gym.  Even though it’s a bit of a drive from my home, I was tempted to try it out, because of the weightlifting expertise of the coaches. After trying it out though, I decided to hold off on joining,  for a couple reasons: parenting, and enjoyment of training. Both of these are high priorities for me, so it is important for me to balance these priorities with my weightlifting training.

Continue reading →