Mindset

Goal Attained! and Getting Ready to Move the Porch Gym Indoors

/ Bethany / Leave a comment

Just a quick weekend update. I haven’t been in the mood to write and share much lately.

BUT….I reached one of my goals last week and I’m super proud of it! I set a goal to complete 150 strength workouts this year, and I reached that goal on 10/29/2015! I’m very proud, because it showed patience and persistence.  It reminds me of a quote I saw (sorry, I don’t know the source): “a river cuts through rock not because of its power, but because of its persistence.”

So, I’ll probably be at closer to 170 workouts by the end of the year. Right now, through trial and error, I’ve learned that 3 workouts per week seems to be the magic number for me. I can improve, but still recover well and still have energy for other activities, like work, motherhood, and all the trail walks we’ve been taking this fall. I experimented with 5 and 4 times per week, but I was often more tired than I needed to be. Lately, I’m realizing that minimalism can be just as enriching in fitness as it is in other areas of life.

To that end, here are some blog posts by other bloggers who seem to agree on this:

Another thing I did over the past couple weeks was order a good floor mat and flat bench so I can train indoors more in the winter.  I decided that instead of finding a winter alternative to the porch gym, I would simply move the porch gym into the living room for the winter. Rather than olympic weightlifting only, I will do a mix of powerlifting and weightlifting, just so I’m not dropping heavy stuff on my floor ALL the time.

I have mixed feelings about this decision. I chose it for practical reasons. Last winter I trained at a local gym with good childcare….but it was such an….OUTING to get there. I had to pack up my kid’s lunch, bundle him up, either clean off my car or walk in the cold, find parking downtown….when all was said and done, going to the gym with a 2 year old took ALL MORNING.  Now that kiddo plays by himself really well, I’m thinking that training at home will require less logistical “stuff” and kiddo can play or watch TV or whatever. And it will be fun to do more powerlifting again. Less technical, more oxen-like strength. Just heavy barbells. What’s not to like?

So why the mixed feelings? What if I never get used to the feeling of lifting a giant barbell in my living room? (um……) Or what if THIS is the winter I wish I could swim? (Doubtful – I access to a pool last winter and never pursued it because that would have entailed dragging even MORE stuff to the gym – swimsuit, towel, shower gear….). What if my kid gets bored? (This will theoretically free up more time in our day for non-gym outings). What if I don’t get enough walking in? (Nothing says I have to stop walking to run errands downtown just because I won’t be going to the gym there). So, basically, there is no strong downside. Only minor concerns. We’ll live with that!

Well, that’s it! I guess I did have things to write about after all. Seems like there is something to be said for “just getting started.”

Habit Cultivation for Financial Goals: My Personal Experience

/ Bethany / 3 Comments

Two years ago, in October 2013, I learned about Dave Ramsey and read the information on his website as well as his book, The Total Money Makeover. My husband and I were inspired and blasted through the first two baby steps: saving $1000 in an emergency fund, and paying off all non-mortgage debt using the debt snowball. Doing those things was a huge relief, and we started working on baby step 3: fully funding our emergency fund with 3-6 months expenses.

And our pace slowed down. We had a few times we’ve had to use the emergency fund to cover various costs, and each time, it seemed like our motivation and intensity diminished.

This year, one of the goals I set at the beginning of 2015 was to “save $12,000 in the emergency fund.” I wanted to finish it off and be done with it.

And then we needed to replace our car. Our emergency fund was down to around $1200. So very discouraging. There was no way that we would finish it by the end of the year.

Don’t get me wrong: we were still in a better place than we were when we started. We haven’t put anything on a credit card in two years! But we were stagnant; we weren’t moving forward.

And then I realized that focusing on the end number might be what was killing our motivation –  similar to how focusing on a “goal weight” while dieting can make every day choices and changes seem to not matter. So I thought, “what if, instead of chasing the end goal of a certain number, I focused on cultivating the habit of the ACTION of saving?” So, as I had done with my other goals, I got rid of the goal of the “end number,” and set a goal to make a deposit at least 15 times of at least $10 by the end of the year (this was in September). Surely I could do at least that, right? It wasn’t nearly where we needed to be, but it was more than zero. So, I started by depositing $10.

And you know what? Over the next 6 weeks, it got easier! I’ve been depositing $20 or $30 some weeks! Seeing the balance go up again is encouraging. (And we got a few hundred for the car we would have junked, so that helped too).

It was definitely an epiphany that I could apply the same habit cultivation methods to savings habits that I was using with training and sleeping and eating habits. I am excited to see if this helps us get over the low motivation hump with this goal.  We’ve tried other money management methods before with similar results: high motivation in the beginning, and lower motivation later. I’m thinking that perhaps they all failed for us thus far because they required a complete overhaul of our habits overnight. Maybe if we had taken the time to develop one habit at a time, we might have had more sustainable success. Hey, just like health habits! Whoa!

Got any saving tips? I’d love to hear about them!

Tired Week Musings on Rest, Minimalism, and Contentment

/ Bethany / Leave a comment

It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve posted. I had some arm pain last week so I needed to minimize typing. And once it felt better, I just felt….tired. So posting fell low on the list of priorities.

As for the low energy, there were a few different factors at play. It was time for a deload week with the barbell, so it was natural that I needed some time to recuperate. I’ve also been fighting a cough for the past month. However, last weekend when I looked at my habit tracking spreadsheet, I noticed that I hadn’t been checking off the “in bed by 10pm column” as often. Well, that was a good reminder of why I chose that habit. For the past few days I’ve been making a conscious effort to go to bed instead of watching TV at night. And boy do I need it – even with the extra sleep, I still feel tired. I have some catching up to do, clearly.

Lately I’ve been enjoying the benefits of minimalism in my life. I’ve been working towards a decluttering goal this year and my husband and I have gotten rid of more than double the amount of things I aimed to get rid of…..and we are still going! I’m starting to appreciate the benefits at this point. Such as – I actually enjoy spending time at home now, whereas I used to feel overwhelmed and stressed out and needed to get out a lot. Which left things undone at home. Which left me more stressed out. Which meant my rest time wasn’t as restful as it could have been.

But today, I am grateful that I have been working towards a restful space, and I have achieved that (even though there is more I can do, I am happy with the progress we have made!). When I woke up this morning, I could feel that I needed a restful day. Thankfully, today is one of my days off from work. So I slowly got ready to go out on the porch and lift.  I read the weather on my phone, got dressed slowly, ate breakfast and took care of my kid’s shit (literally and figuratively). After breakfast (almost 2 hours later!) we headed out to the porch gym, which, today, was also a pet shop. Or a ticket counter. Or maybe both. I’m not sure.  Since it was a bit rainy and I was needing extra rest, I did not schedule any trail walking into my day.

Later, a friend I hadn’t spoken with in a long time sent me a message asking how I was doing. I caught myself about to answer “we are having a lazy day.” And I realized that sounded so negative, when in fact, I was doing a positive thing by honoring my need for rest. So instead, I said “we are having a restful day.” That felt great, and not at all self-deprecating. I think I will try substituting “restful” for “lazy” in my language, when applicable (which is probably almost always)”.

In addition to “tired,” I have also been experiencing a sense of contentment lately. I like this quote by Joshua Becker:

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it.

Recently (definitely within the past year), I have found myself thinking self-pitying thoughts, especially about finances and lifestyle things that we can’t afford right now, such as a home with a bigger yard, and traveling to visit friends and family more. But my daily “name something for which I feel grateful” habit seems to be changing my mindset, and this morning I was feeling grateful for simplicity. Sure, I could work more, and I would have more money. I am a person who really needs a lot of downtime and time alone with my own thoughts though. And today, I am grateful that my lifestyle (and my husband!) is allowing me some of that time, several times per week. Especially since I have a child. I’m feeling happy with the way things are, right now.

Thanks for reading!

 

For Crying Out Loud: How I Woke Up From Natural Parenting Dogma About Crying

/ Bethany / 8 Comments

When I started this blog, I didn’t envision parenting being a primary topic. The description at the top of the page says “habit cultivation, body positivity, olympic style weightlifting, seasonal vegetable cooking, and an occasional side of parenting.” If the last couple months have been indicative, I should probably switch the last two topics. The description should read “an occasional side of vegetable cooking.”

Yesterday I read a post by Everyday Battles, and it struck a chord with me. I could relate to a lot of what she wrote.

I spent my entire pregnancy surrounding myself with empowering messages, images, resources, etc. I believed I was fit, strong, healthy, level headed, supported, etc. I was the “perfect candidate” for pregnancy, labor, delivery, mindset and motherhood. It was natural! Why should I be concerned? I’ll bounce back because of how healthy and educated I am about this process. This woman did it! That woman looks amazing! My head was filled with powerful affirmations and expectations. I was confident to a fault.

Well, fuck me. That mentality failed me big time…

I, too, spent my entire pregnancy surrounding myself with empowering messages, images, resources, etc. I, too, believed I was fit, strong, healthy, level headed, supported, etc. I, too, was the “perfect candidate” for pregnancy, labor, delivery, mindset and motherhood. My head, too, was filled with powerful affirmations and expectations. I, too, was confident to a fault. And like Brianna writes, that mentality failed me too, big time.

When faced with a very long, drawn out, prodromal labor, I was not unprepared for my mounting levels of fear and exhaustion. My birth was very different from the way I had envisioned it. The first few weeks of my son’s life were the darkest weeks of mine. I have never in my life doubted myself as much as I did then.

But birth expectations were not the only way in which I feel the natural parenting community fails parents and kids.

During my pregnancy, I was also immersing myself in beliefs that were not helpful to me at all about crying babies.

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Uncharted Waters: Food Seems to Have Lost Its Power

/ Bethany / 1 Comment

When I started working on my habit goals nine months ago, I knew I wanted to be open to whatever outcomes may come, without trying to dictate and manipulate the results. After a lifetime of chasing outcome goals, I was sick of it and ready to give up control in that area.

Over the past nine months, I have noticed a lot of great outcomes, both physical and mental. I am now starting the tenth month, and one of the outcomes I have noticed recently is that the role food plays in my life is changing. This post will include some observations about my relationship with food in different points in my life, and now. Please keep in mind that in describing this, I am not holding any judgment towards myself or anyone else who happens to identify with these statements. Just describing my experiences at different points in my life.

As a child, I loved food, but it was also a source of guilt. I did not find my family meals relaxing. During meals, my parents sometimes argued, and there was often food policing of my brothers and my meals or portions. I grew to enjoy eating alone.

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Changing Weather, Changing Options, Changing Strategies

/ Bethany / 4 Comments

This will be another boring post, unless you enjoy reading my inner monologue about what goes into developing and maintaining certain habits.

In a previous post, I wrote about how we can have some developmental stumbles while forming new habits.  Today, I’m realizing that seasonal changes can pose new obstacles too. I’ve written quite a bit about the process of developing a walking habit again.  Last month, I wrote about some of the specific things I needed to do in order to make this a habit (and when I say *I*, I mean “me, personally.” Other people may have different needs and circumstances to address).

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Insomniac Weekend Update: Walking Slowly and Taking Breaks

/ Bethany / 1 Comment

I have had trouble sleeping this past week, and tonight is no exception. Since my body doesn’t seem to want to sleep, I am taking a break from sleeping to check in.

I’m feeling better than I did last week, but I still have some anxiety going on. Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night I process feelings and have trouble going back to sleep.

Despite difficult feelings, I’ve had a pretty easy time sticking with my habit goals. I love the fall weather, which is making it easy and enjoyable for me to get walking in. I’ve taken 2 trail walks with kiddo this week, and today I walked to the grocery store with kiddo (30+ pounds) on my back, and then pushed the stroller full of groceries and kiddo home (probably 70-90 lbs total).

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Inspiration: Try Something Tuesday (or any day)!

/ Bethany / Leave a comment

If you participate in any online health, fitness, or sports-related groups, you may be familiar with “Transformation Tuesday.” Group members often post “before and after” pictures, which tend to get tons of “likes” and congratulatory comments. I’ve seen some discussion that some people feel discouraged when they see these. Others find them motivating.  Others don’t like them because they find them overly focused on appearance and under-ly focused on the process and how sustainable the change is.  Others find them triggering of eating disordered behavior. I’m sure people have other opinions too. In fact, having an opinion about people posting pics on the internet probably means you are winning at life in general and don’t have bigger fish to fry. Go you! Or not. It’s totally okay NOT to have an opinion on Transformation Tuesday pics. This probably means you have bigger priorities in life in general and are winning at life, too.

My opinion? They are some of my least favorite posts I see in some of my favorite online groups. I don’t find them triggering from a disordered eating standpoint, but I do think they probably give false hope for many people. I think they put a more of an emphasis on looks and less on health, since you can’t always tell a person’s health by looking at them. They don’t bother me to the point where I would leave a group over it, but I wouldn’t miss them at all if they disappeared.

So, I was ecstatic this week on Tuesday morning, when one of my favorite groups on the internet decided to make them disappear. And the way they did it was just….so positive. Instead of issuing a “NEW RULE!!!! ALL TRANSFORMATION TUESDAY POSTS ARE NOW BANNED BECAUSE THEY MIGHT OFFEND SOMEBODY,” the moderators announced that they would be retiring “Transformation Tuesday” and replacing it with something amazing: Try Something Tuesday!

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